"You came through the worst of times, be proud of what you have achieved in a very short period but also remember your daughters. We Africans value children so much and given your unbiased beliefs and love for a different race for romance, I'd say you will be as successful as you want to be." -James Ekwem, business partner

Outlook for the Future

Email: davidn@dfdn.info

(44) (0) 7943055280

The sequence of events which changed my outlook on life forever...

In 2014 I was an (unhappily) married man with no international plans or outlook, no clear career goal and a presumption that I would go on living in the United Kingdom for the rest of my days. Yet eleven years later, I am on the brink of pulling off the biggest and most dramatic change in family history (and with wide implications for the future of others too). What changed in such a dramatic fashion to bring about the downfall, first of an abusive marriage and then the downfall of the family's old ways of life? Which is to change the course of family history forever? And what are the consequences for all concerned?

Here is a timeline of the events which brought me from being just another unhappily married man drifting on in life into an international man now the verge of transforming the course of family history (my own and that of others) forever.

2014: Death of my father: until this time, I had kept the abuse I had suffered secret. My father would have reacted badly to the knowledge of how I was being abused and had been ill for his final three years. Only after his loss (and my ex wife asking questions about inheritance before he even had is funeral) did I eventually begin to reveal the truth. My ex wife spending 7 weeks in Ivory Cost over the summer gave me the chance to pause and reflect on things.

2015: My ex wife's visit to Paris in the summer holidays results in her meeting (and beginning to commit adultery with) a man there. Unknown to her, I am fully aware of this and first beginning thoughts of our separation. I dream of taking back my life before it is too late, but I hesitate: family law in the UK is a nightmare which makes leaving an abusive marriage difficult. Besides, having children brings an extra layer of difficulty. At this time, change is already underway, but it has not progressed very far; others have no knowledge as of yet. I have no defined international plans or strategy as of yet.

2016: I remove my ring six months before we separate; my heart is no longer with it. In fact, it is considerable time since my wife removed hers. The abuse is largely motivated by money: I am unable to give my wife the extravagant lifestyle she desires. In August, she visits the man in Paris again to continue the adultery; in September, she tries to get me into trouble with the police to get me out of the family home; the plan fails as I am fully aware of her plans and an ready, trained (in security) and prepared. After separation, I take back the home and – in response to her refusal to let me see my daughters, I take her to family court. This also causes me to put my plans on hold – for now. The battle with the CMS begins in June and will last for 7 1/2 years.

2017: I have now won back access to my daughters and my plans resume. Realising that family law will trap me in poverty forever if I remain in the UK; I draw up plans to resume my career (on hold since 2005 when I had been forced to withdraw from my PhD) overseas and – tentatively – maybe to one day remarry. I search for suitable destinations. There are as follows:

-Europe would have been a natural first choice, and a favorite suggestion among my own close circle. But 'Brexit' forces me to rule it out;

-Australia featured high on the list of suggestions too. But it was also ruled out – it is hard to get a visa, expensive and I would require qualifications costing me thousands which the CMS would NEVER leave me the **** alone to save.

-The only other destination which really had any supporters was somewhere in the Middle East, Dubai in particular (A favorite suggestion of Ahmed's). But I was not as yet an experienced traveler and am wary of going into the Arab world alone. This also had to be ruled out.

So I was forced to rule out all the suggestions which my close circle had made. So what did this leave? Little did I know that later, someone else would come and give her own answer...

By the end of the year, I had (tentatively) started to search for a new lady (I do NOT mean another gold digger!!!). I was however nervous of opening up my life after all I had gone forever.

2018: I survive being robbed at knifepoint and narrowly escape losing an eye. I survive with mental and physical scars. But my drink problem worsens as a result. I am also diagnosed with PTSD.

2019: The CMS forces me to abandon my old home, and shortly after, I survive being robbed at knifepoint for the second time. Sadly, leaving the home means that I cannot have my daughters stay with me any longer. But no great loss – it is becoming too costly (thanks to the CMS!) and I now plan to leave the UK eventually. But before the plans can advance, disaster strikes.... Firstly, I fall unconscious on a security job in central London in December and am taken to UCH. Little do I know I will never again work in security.

2020: Covid-19 hits. I am forced to put plans on hold AGAIN. I had a freak accident in which I have multiple fractures in my shoulder. No more work in security - but this accident might have saved my life as I am kept away from others and it might have saved me from contracting COVID-19 - at this stage, a potential death sentence. And I narrowly cheated death in August – this is due to a medical condition connected with the years of abuse I have suffered and was worsened by the robberies (I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder also), and I am advised to leave and begin a new life anyhow AWAY from all the old memories). But my old fashioned family say I am mad to leave (!) and accuse me of 'running away'. To hell with them! I had developed cirrhosis of the liver and quit drinking permanently. It was a close call. But within a year, sweeping changes would be underway...

2021: To provide a source of income which the CMS cannot intercept, I firstly settle for self employed cleaning work, and – as a longer term solution, an international source of income. I work towards getting a TEFL certificate to become on online teacher. I can bypass the system here by earning income internationally, and will have a source of income on arrival at a new destination. I also put my aunt in her place – I dumfound her prediction that I will 'die from Covid-19 by the roadside in Africa' by announcing that I got an early vaccination by the backdoor just 3 weeks after the vaccination program gets underway in the new year. (My family always had a shocking lack of faith in me; it seems that the lessons of history are never ever learned). I gain my TEFL certificate in November.

2022: Plans are finalised and I begin teaching online in January. What I do next will change the evolution of families and the course of their history forever.... The Yancheng exchange visits have begun. These exchange courses take place online this year, but I make my first visit to China when travel restrictions have relaxed the following year. This introduces me to teach in China on a longer term basis. I buy a duel sim phone in reasiness for operation overseas.

2023: I tried to get a contract to teach in China but fail due to the costs involved. I will not fail next time. I make two visits to Yancheng and meanwhile online teaching continues. My health has stabilised by now.

2024: During a third visit to Yancheng, I sign a contract to teach at Shanxi Normal University in Taiyuan, Shanxi Province, China. My mother is found unconscious on the floor in her home, she ends up in a care home costing over £3500 per month. This hardens my resolve. I know that I am now the only chance the family has for a new future. In December, comes my final victory over the CMS. They have no powers outside the UK. Especially in a non-REMO country such as China.

2025: As July approaches I have completed my first 1 year contract in China. And... roll of drums - I am no longer alone. After so many years. For I now have a new partner. And I am about to take the fight for the survival of the family to a third continent - Africa! Michelle is living in Johannesburg, South Africa - although she is actually from Cameroon. And it finally answers the question my daughters have long asked. Will I ever dare to remarry? See the links below for details and an answer to the question...

Michelle – the lady demystified

Bienvenue Michelle - Behold the outstanding natural beauty of Fulani Ladies

2026: Could I start to feel like a family man once again?