New Year's Resolutions for 2026
These are the final auto-generated resolutions for 2026.
In 2026, I will finally tell a London bus driver how much I love them, and damn the consequences
...and I will expand my chain of tofu cafes into space
Don't like these resolutions? Maybe this will happen again for 2027. Who knows?
Bonus fortune cookie
You will arm wrestle with Charlie XCX in the Large Magellanic Cloud